It turns out I'm not so good at this blogging thing. It's just another thing to procrastinate about, to castigate myself for, to feel less worthy for not doing well. So I probably should just stop - delete the damn thing, forget about it. But some part of me really wants to do it, to actually write on a regular basis, to keep track of my life. Maybe I'm just a masochist. Maybe I just can't resist any opportunity to look at myself and say "here's another thing at which you've failed." Healthy, really.
So, here's what's happening now:
Current rotation: anesthesia. Haaaate. At least it's a good group. Otherwise, haaaate.
Currently should be: Studying for boards. Working on internship applications. Asking for recommendations for internships. Cleaning my room.
Currently convinced I will: Fail boards. Not get an internship. Not have the courage to even ask for recommendations, much less find three people who are willing to write them for me. Be a really terrible vet, given that I'm more than halfway through my rotations and still feel like I know nothing. Live in squalor forever, and eventually be eaten by a giant dust bunny.
Good things: Crazy Cat and BJ sat peacefully on the couch together today. I'm pretty sure no animals have died as a direct result of being in my care. Have not had complete nervous breakdown (only little ones). May have lost weight (not sure - don't own a scale).
Music I am currently vaguely obsessed with: Fall Out Boy. Ok Go.
New TV show I like: Heroes.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Friday, April 28, 2006
Sometimes, my life is so odd
I'm currently rewriting the lyrics to Gilbert and Sullivan's "Modern Major General" so that it's all about veterinary dentistry. And given that I need to have this done by tomorrow morning (so I can make an ass of myself in front of the class), I don't really care that biopsy and mandibulectomy don't exactly rhyme. I think the creative part of my brain has atrophied in the past few years.
Small animal block has been fun... I did pretty much nothing for weeks on end. And now everything's due, all at once. I work well under pressure, right?
Small animal block has been fun... I did pretty much nothing for weeks on end. And now everything's due, all at once. I work well under pressure, right?
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
So much music
I've been spending a lot of time lately listening to Pandora. Pandora is this awesome web radio thing. You make "stations" by typing in the name of an artist or a song title. It then plays songs that are musically similar to whatever you've selected. I'm fascinated by this thing - I don't always hear the similarities, but I tend to like what's played for me, so I guess it works.
When I started using Pandora, I found that they didn't have Bishop Allen in their database. I sent an email, and lo and behold, I'm now listening to my very own Bishop Allen station. I feel like my musical taste has somehow been validated - the band I recommended was deemed worthy by someone, and thus I am also worthy. Yes, this is how my brain works.
In other news, baseball season has started. I'm following a Yankee game online, looking forward to moving back to New York where I can actually watch the games on TV. YES Network, I miss you so much.
Yesterday we got our schedules for all of 4th year. Mine's okay - pretty much what I asked for. I'm a little freaked out about going back to clinics, but I'm sure it'll be okay. At the moment, I'm very much enjoying my relatively light course load. It's like being an undergrad again - some days I only have two hours of class! Weird. Nice, though.
When I started using Pandora, I found that they didn't have Bishop Allen in their database. I sent an email, and lo and behold, I'm now listening to my very own Bishop Allen station. I feel like my musical taste has somehow been validated - the band I recommended was deemed worthy by someone, and thus I am also worthy. Yes, this is how my brain works.
In other news, baseball season has started. I'm following a Yankee game online, looking forward to moving back to New York where I can actually watch the games on TV. YES Network, I miss you so much.
Yesterday we got our schedules for all of 4th year. Mine's okay - pretty much what I asked for. I'm a little freaked out about going back to clinics, but I'm sure it'll be okay. At the moment, I'm very much enjoying my relatively light course load. It's like being an undergrad again - some days I only have two hours of class! Weird. Nice, though.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
I went away, and came back
I just signed up for a Flickr account today, so I'm trying out the "blog this photo" feature. So, if this works, there should be a picture of me on Blackcomb Mountain (in western Canada) alongside this post.
The trip was great. The skiing was incredible, and Vancouver is lovely. I got irritable about halfway through, but the family will forgive me.
The trip was great. The skiing was incredible, and Vancouver is lovely. I got irritable about halfway through, but the family will forgive me.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
I'm alive!
Survived my first four rotations, despite one rough week in soft tissue surgery. Don't really feel like writing about it, since it was a week ago and I'm past the emotion of it all. Suffice it to say that I've survived and that I'm ready for vacation. Off to Whistler tomorrow to fulfill my Olympic dreams (or, well, to try to keep up with my speedy brother). The Olympics, my obsession and distraction for the past fortnight, end tonight, if NBC ever gets around to actually showing the closing ceremonies.
Skiing, here I come. And then it's back to class - I never thought I'd be so happy just to go to school, but clinics have worn me out. How am I going to get through a whole year of this? One at a time, I guess, counting on reserves buried somewhere deep inside me - because otherwise, I'm kinda screwed.
Skiing, here I come. And then it's back to class - I never thought I'd be so happy just to go to school, but clinics have worn me out. How am I going to get through a whole year of this? One at a time, I guess, counting on reserves buried somewhere deep inside me - because otherwise, I'm kinda screwed.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
I have a blog? Really?
Okay, so it turns out I'm almost as bad at blogging as I am at writing in an actual journal. Oh well - either way I'm mostly writing for me. I'm still not sure who I really want to read this, anyway.
Since I last posted, lots of things have happened. Finished core courses (and went to corresponding party, where I got all dressed up and drunk in the presence of many dinosaurs), went home, got awesome digital camera, gave Mom slightly less awesome digital camera, watched many dvds with family while it rained outside, borrowed the parental station wagon and drove over 5 hours all by my self. Survived my first two clinical rotations. I suppose I should write something about those four weeks. I was so scared before they started - had trouble sleeping the night before I left. But it turns out that I'm tougher than I'd thought. I usually am (except when I think I'm going to be super tough, at which point I generally fall apart).
Anyway, I moved into the dorm (not too bad - nice big kitchen, lots of fun nights in the tv room - but I missed my cat and I'm glad to be home) and started my first rotation - technically, Large Animal Emergency/Critical Care, but actually the high risk half of the LA Med rotation (I hit the overlap between old and new foundation requirements). All the other students in the group were also small animal types, and were really nice about helping me out during the first few days when I was confused and a little frantic. Going into detail about those two weeks is just way too boring, so I'll just say that we mostly took care of colic cases. I got called in for two colics in one night when I was on call, which kind of sucked, but luckily neither went to surgery, and both eventually got better and went home. One was a really cute miniature horse. Awww. I also had a really cool case of bovine endocarditis.
After that, I had two weeks on Field Service, which were pretty fun. I got to help with a bunch of LDA surgeries during my bovine week, which was awesome. I like suturing things. The cow week was more fun than the horse week, mostly because the clinicians who go out on bovine calls are really great. I did a case report on the cutest patient we saw: a calf named Elmo with pneumonia. The equine people are nice too, but are much more into the structured question-asking, which always makes me nervous, mostly because while I'm generally clueless, I'm even more clueless about large animals. Also making me nervous: the fact that I don't have any instinct about equine body language. I'm so used to animals that attack with their heads that I put myself in some danger a few times by standing too close to back legs. Luckily, I never got hurt.
So now I'm back home (yaaaay!) and two days into the oncology rotation. So far it's pretty good. I was nervous at first, of course (I have a feeling I'm going to be nervous before every rotation I do, 'cause that's who I am), but it's not as intense as a lot of other rotations, so it's a good way to ease myself into VHUP a bit. Many of the cases we're seeing are really sad (they do all have cancer, after all), but it's great to see how well most of them do with chemotherapy. It's not a specialty I could really see myself doing - I don't think I'm strong enough emotionally to deal with cancer all day, every day. I need some happy puppy visits to break up the sadness. It's really interesting so far, though, and the clinicians are good teachers. I've been doing really badly with all of my attempts to get blood from jugular veins, which is really frustrating, even though everyone's been nice about it. I'm hoping to do it successfully by the end of the week, because it's getting a little ridiculous. I just need a non-overweight, well-hydrated, well-behaved, short-haired dog. Is that so much to ask?
So here's a nice long post to make up for more than a month of blog silence. I'm going to try to post more often, because I know that getting my thoughts out is good for me, no matter whether anyone else sees it.
Since I last posted, lots of things have happened. Finished core courses (and went to corresponding party, where I got all dressed up and drunk in the presence of many dinosaurs), went home, got awesome digital camera, gave Mom slightly less awesome digital camera, watched many dvds with family while it rained outside, borrowed the parental station wagon and drove over 5 hours all by my self. Survived my first two clinical rotations. I suppose I should write something about those four weeks. I was so scared before they started - had trouble sleeping the night before I left. But it turns out that I'm tougher than I'd thought. I usually am (except when I think I'm going to be super tough, at which point I generally fall apart).
Anyway, I moved into the dorm (not too bad - nice big kitchen, lots of fun nights in the tv room - but I missed my cat and I'm glad to be home) and started my first rotation - technically, Large Animal Emergency/Critical Care, but actually the high risk half of the LA Med rotation (I hit the overlap between old and new foundation requirements). All the other students in the group were also small animal types, and were really nice about helping me out during the first few days when I was confused and a little frantic. Going into detail about those two weeks is just way too boring, so I'll just say that we mostly took care of colic cases. I got called in for two colics in one night when I was on call, which kind of sucked, but luckily neither went to surgery, and both eventually got better and went home. One was a really cute miniature horse. Awww. I also had a really cool case of bovine endocarditis.
After that, I had two weeks on Field Service, which were pretty fun. I got to help with a bunch of LDA surgeries during my bovine week, which was awesome. I like suturing things. The cow week was more fun than the horse week, mostly because the clinicians who go out on bovine calls are really great. I did a case report on the cutest patient we saw: a calf named Elmo with pneumonia. The equine people are nice too, but are much more into the structured question-asking, which always makes me nervous, mostly because while I'm generally clueless, I'm even more clueless about large animals. Also making me nervous: the fact that I don't have any instinct about equine body language. I'm so used to animals that attack with their heads that I put myself in some danger a few times by standing too close to back legs. Luckily, I never got hurt.
So now I'm back home (yaaaay!) and two days into the oncology rotation. So far it's pretty good. I was nervous at first, of course (I have a feeling I'm going to be nervous before every rotation I do, 'cause that's who I am), but it's not as intense as a lot of other rotations, so it's a good way to ease myself into VHUP a bit. Many of the cases we're seeing are really sad (they do all have cancer, after all), but it's great to see how well most of them do with chemotherapy. It's not a specialty I could really see myself doing - I don't think I'm strong enough emotionally to deal with cancer all day, every day. I need some happy puppy visits to break up the sadness. It's really interesting so far, though, and the clinicians are good teachers. I've been doing really badly with all of my attempts to get blood from jugular veins, which is really frustrating, even though everyone's been nice about it. I'm hoping to do it successfully by the end of the week, because it's getting a little ridiculous. I just need a non-overweight, well-hydrated, well-behaved, short-haired dog. Is that so much to ask?
So here's a nice long post to make up for more than a month of blog silence. I'm going to try to post more often, because I know that getting my thoughts out is good for me, no matter whether anyone else sees it.
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